MENTAL HEALTH SERIES: QUEER CONGREGATION

BY: ANJANA KASHYAP AND LIPIKA IGATPURIKAR

TW: ABUSE, MENTAL HEALTH, QUEERPHOBIA

PHOTOGRAPHER: ANJANA KASHYAP

MENTAL HEALTH SERIES: QUEER CONGREGATION

The queer community has been put in boxes for as long as we can remember. These boxes are not only tiny and confined, but they also don’t allow for much movement within them. A consequence of this confinement is the deteriorating mental health of queer individuals.

Stereotyping and queerphobia are often passed off as jokes; jokes that are not humorous.

More often than not, making jokes on an individual’s identity is not funny.

For many reasons, the members of the LGBTQ+ community suffer from poor overall mental health that often leads to anxiety, depression, PTSD, substance abuse, and body dysphoria, among others. One common reason for this queerphobia; this includes homophobia, transphobia, and feeling “fear or hate” towards anyone who identifies as queer.

Queerphobia arises from myths, stereotypes, and misinformation. It in turn leads to stigma, discrimination, or violence.

A result of this is the isolation of the queer community; negative feelings arise about themselves, which makes them want to hide their sexuality or gender identity. Further, loneliness and being unaccepted leads to a downward spiral of their mental health.

However, queerphobia might be shaped by myths such as:

1) Homosexuality is a choice. While the reality is that sexual orientation is caused by various factors such as genetics and brain development; homosexuality is no more a choice or decision than being straight.

2) Homosexuality can be cured. It has been proved that repetitive therapy is rather harmful. Nothing can change a person’s sexual orientation. Additionally, there have been several petitions to ban conversion therapy as it affects an individual’s mental health.

3) It is necessary to undergo surgery in order to identify as Trans. Apart from being absolutely wrong, this statement is also uninformed. Not every individual who identifies as a transgender undergoes surgery; some don’t have the funds, while some just choose not to.

4) Homosexuality is abnormal. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, and the American Academy of Pediatrics issued this joint statement: “Homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable. Gender differences are normal expressions of human relationships.”

5) Queer individuals are mentally ill. The most problematic of all, this statement essentially does two things: it disregards the validity of queer identities and it creates a premise that queer individuals’ mental health is unimportant.

6) Marriages are supposed to be between a man and a woman. Homosexual relationships can be as monogamous, strong, and valid as heterosexual relationships. The idea that marriages are a heterosexual narrative is extremely heteronormative and disregards the validity of queer relationships.

7) Members of the LGBTQ+ community are trying to convert others. It is impossible to impose one’s sexuality on another person. If a member of the community is trying to educate people on queer topics, it’s only because knowledge helps decrease ignorance.

(NOTE: THESE ARE JUST A FRACTION OF STEREOTYPES. THERE ARE NUMEROUS OTHER STEREOTYPES THAT ARE ATTACHED TO THE QUEER COMMUNITY)

Queerphobia doesn’t disappear overnight or in one conversation, however, one should remind themself that queerphobia is typically based on lack of knowledge about the community. Knowledge helps reduce stigmatization and hatred.

Use logic, statistics, and facts when defending queer rights. If someone says something offensive, correct them politely. Try and educate them on the topic; normalize unlearning preconceived notions. Read up on queer experiences and call out your peers when they make queerphobic “jokes”.

Apart from these stereotypes, there are many other ignorant statements/ideas and threatening situations that snake their way into the daily lives of queer individuals. Some of them are misgendering, problems associated with coming out, and in extreme cases physical violence. The above-mentioned situations cause a feeling of abandonment that majorly impacts a person’s mental health.

MISGENDERING

“Sex" is what a doctor assigns you at birth, based on your body’s physical characteristics. It’s your biological sense of being. “Gender" on the other hand is your overall sense of being. It goes beyond one’s reproductive organs and it’s a person’s understanding and perception of themselves; it’s their inner sense of who they are and who they are meant to be. It’s how they want to interact with the world and how they want the world to perceive them.

While cisgender people are those who have a gender identity that matches the sex they were assigned at birth, there are people who have a gender identity that differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. These people can be transgender, nonbinary, or gender-nonconforming people.

Misgendering is referring to a transgender, nonbinary, or gender-nonconforming person with pronouns that do not align with their affirmed gender.

“But how does it matter if I call my friend he instead of they? It is not causing any serious mental distress?” Wrong.

Misgendered individuals go through immense amounts of pain from the social and psychological challenges that they face on a daily basis. Upon being surrounded by people who don’t address them with their identity, the mental health of these individuals is influenced to a great extent. This pain can manifest itself in a series of anxiety attacks, depressive episodes, and other psychiatric disorders.

It can leave them with a very low self-esteem and a feeling of invalidity.

Such situations can also cause gender dysphoria. People who experience gender dysphoria are very uncomfortable not only with the gender they are assigned at birth but also with their bodies.

Further, while intentionally misgendering someone, you fail to realize that these people have worked exceptionally hard to be able to accept their authentic selves. It’s a battle that leads to many losing their families; most even face countless years of abuse, physical as well as mental.

Misgendering individuals equate to invalidating their struggles. One portrays a very psychologically dominant play with the privilege of not using a person’s preferred pronouns.

How to avoid misgendering people?

Misgendering is a prominent, yet taxing, issue. Individuals can show support and compassion by being conscious of their participation in the problem and taking these simple steps to avoid doing so.

Remember two things: Always ask for pronouns and never assume.

Make it mandatory to ask for a person’s pronouns when you ask for basic information; it sends out a message that you respect their identity and that they are valid; it creates a safe space.

Avoid using passive language. Use more gender-inclusive terms while addressing an audience. For example, instead of saying “guys" or “ladies and gentlemen” use terms like “folks” to make it inclusive for everyone present; rather than using terms like “girlfriend and boyfriend” use terms like “significant other" to address a nonbinary or a gender non-conforming person.

Avoid using gendered language to speak to or describe people unless you know it’s the language that a particular person prefers.

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

Physical violence is an occurrence that is seen in extreme situations; however, it is not as uncommon as it should be in the context of the queer community. Physical abuse can leave a long-lasting scar on one’s life. If proper help isn’t provided, it can become extremely hard for an individual to venture out again after such an episode.

If a queer individual comes up to you and opens up about being assaulted, immediately believe them. Help them report their abuser and make sure they get the help they require; medical or otherwise.

If you are not in a position to help them, direct them towards somebody who can help.

COMING OUT

Coming out: “A metaphor for LGBT people's self-disclosure of their sexual orientation or of their gender identity”

Coming out is not a black and white experience; as the vast spectrum of the LGBTQIA+ community, coming out is an experience that cannot be described using single rhetoric. Questions such as – “How does coming out affect mental health? Or “Should one not be more liberated on coming out?” are often directed towards members; closeted or otherwise.

In an idealistic society, this would have been the case; however, since idealism is a myth in today’s society, this is not the case.

Often, coming out does not lead to the desired reaction from both family and friends, alike. A lot of queer individuals have felt unaccepted and distanced once they came out; in addition to being misgendered and having to deal with queerphobic parents, a shower of phrases such as “it’s a phase” and “that’s not natural” are rained upon them.

Having to live with a secret identity is not easy. Not being able to come out is not easy either. This constant feeling of disapproval ingrains itself into the lives of queer individuals leading to extensive mental health problems such as depression and anxiety among others.

Societal pressures and stereotypes have often pressured the LGBTQIA+ community to live in fear. Imagine, not being able to love your partner openly, or being forced to live with an identity that is not yours. These are just some of the problems queer people have to deal with on a daily basis.

Further, the practice of using queer language as slurs for anyone who does not fall under the heteronormative umbrella makes a negative impact on the mental well being of queer individuals. Having one’s identity being used as an insult is not something one should have to deal with.

How to be more supportive of friends and family trying to come out?

It’s rather simple, really.

Listening and understanding are the mantras of being a supportive ally.

It is important that you hear them out when they come out to you. Don’t tell them that “it is impossible” or “you don’t seem like a part of the community”. An emotion that is equally important is patience; do not pressure somebody into coming out to you. Know that there are multiple layers to coming out and a person will come out to you only when they trust you and feel comfortable around you. Further, when a member tells you that the language you direct towards the community is offensive, don’t argue with them; accept it and learn.

If you don’t understand the dynamics of the queer community, use the internet; it is free and has a plethora of resources. Or, ask someone if they’re willing to help you understand; however, remember that it is not okay to force someone to help you out.

Lastly, in a society, where mental health and the queer community are still considered very sensitive topics; it is important to not isolate the two. To be more accepting.

As a society, we need to open up our minds. Understand the struggles of being so beautifully different and take one step in the right direction.